I was running this morning this song came on and got me thinking about me as a person and my weightloss journey.....the song was I wanna know what love is by wynonna,and as the lyrics were playing i started thinking that while i was fat i was so mad at the world like it was the worlds fault that i was overweight......I never wanted to go anywhere cause no clothes fit I lived in sweat pants and pj pants,and when we did go somewhere i felt like people were looking at me and talking about me.....well to a point I guess thinking to themselves or someone else saying wow look at her she needs to do something about her weight she looks terrible.
I was in such a shell and had a wall up,and so mean to people cause I was afraid of getting hurt,and it turns out I was hurting myself w/ food and not letting anyone get close to me.I guess when i look in the mirror I don't see a different person,cause I look at my arms and think all I am doing and they aren't toning up,and my apron is still there,but I am gonna keep going......as more of the song kept playing it had me thinking more that all that I am doing w/ food and working out it's not about like it was before i gotta do all this to get this weight off and in the back of my mind thinking well if I lose this weight I can eat junk again....it's more about now that this is my life it's no longer a diet it's my lifestyle......and how I am gonna live from now on,when I don't w/o there's alittle guilt but I know I need a days rest so I can be better for the rest of the weeks w/o's.
I have noticed that with the weight loss my self esteem has improved,I don't think that everyone's out to get me lol like I thought before,and I wanna go out and do things,but now I have no clothes really to wear,w/ more weight to lose I don't wanna waste money on clothes that in a few weeks or months I won't be able to wear,so I don't wanna throw that monet away......so I bought cheap tank tops at walmart that stretch so i can get a long time out of them,and it was raining last weekend and cold TOM and I went to the cemetary and it was to cold to wear ttops go figure so i had to wear a sweatshirt heheheheh,so I am glad w/ this weightloss I am in large tops some are mediums pants are larges in w/o clothes and plain shorts but jeans are iffy .
Well thats enough babbling for tonight once I start talking I can't stop.....I have turned into a blabbermouth I love to talk just can't shut up lol lol lol....but anyway I am gonna go cause the LAKERS are getting ready to come on and if we win we go to the finals,if not then there will be a game 7 in LA and we would definately need that one to go to the finals so wish us luck everyone
much love all,jenn
WELL ANOTHER ONE DOWN
Well it's friday again and nothing new to report if you will......well besides it's the playoffs in basketball and my LAKERS are in WOOOOHOOOOO,and they are back in utah for game 3 and i am so excited.
2 more weeks roughly I will be in georgia visiting KAREN,so excited i can't wait,we will have so much fun,we had a blast last yr.,i can't believe it's been a yr.already,and sunday is mothers day and I am alittle upset because my mom is dead and I don't wanna go to the cemetary,but I will and I get to visit my gram and pap also which they are right above my mom,and they pretty much raised me growing up........and I will not go into the whole situation,let's just say it will be a rough day for me.
My trip to indy I was worried about because my body finally was in a losing streak and I was afraid that if I went because of the different atmosphere and stuff it would completely throw me off......and it did,I did good with my food which I knew i would it was the working out I knew would be trouble and it did....well like always everytime i go there i get sick and i did,so that for one I didn't feel like working out cause it was a chest cold or sinus etc.so.......I did get one day in before I was sick,and when i weighed in it showed a gain which was weird cause i waas only there for 2 days b4 i weighed in so i knew with my food there was no way i over ate,so not sure what was up w/ that.
Then my week started again w/ thursday and by then i was blown out sick so i knew when i weighed in at home it was probably water retention from being sick and 1 day of eating 1700 cal would not do that much damage and i was only up 4oz so i guess that's not bad for 2 weeks......and i will know more by this thursday's weigh in,if i am down alot then i know it was really water retention from being sick and the different atmosphere,but if there's not a big loss then i know i did worse then i thought.....that's why I don't like doing anything different then what my body is used to like going out of town especially when my body is on a roll cause i have learned how to read my body and listen to it so i get afraid cause i know it will take forever to get it back on a losing streak again....and i hope and pray it starts right away......I know our body needs a break but for me a week is to long a day here and there is ok but my body is so touchy it's so weird I think I am an exception to all the rules......LOL,LOL,WELL I think that's enough babbling about my weight issues but once I start I can't stop.....well everyone it's time to sign off for tonight it's almost 9 and the LAKERS will be on and i wanna watch pre game.....I can't help it I love football and basketball I am in heaven when these 2 sports are on.......
NITE ALL
2 more weeks roughly I will be in georgia visiting KAREN,so excited i can't wait,we will have so much fun,we had a blast last yr.,i can't believe it's been a yr.already,and sunday is mothers day and I am alittle upset because my mom is dead and I don't wanna go to the cemetary,but I will and I get to visit my gram and pap also which they are right above my mom,and they pretty much raised me growing up........and I will not go into the whole situation,let's just say it will be a rough day for me.
My trip to indy I was worried about because my body finally was in a losing streak and I was afraid that if I went because of the different atmosphere and stuff it would completely throw me off......and it did,I did good with my food which I knew i would it was the working out I knew would be trouble and it did....well like always everytime i go there i get sick and i did,so that for one I didn't feel like working out cause it was a chest cold or sinus etc.so.......I did get one day in before I was sick,and when i weighed in it showed a gain which was weird cause i waas only there for 2 days b4 i weighed in so i knew with my food there was no way i over ate,so not sure what was up w/ that.
Then my week started again w/ thursday and by then i was blown out sick so i knew when i weighed in at home it was probably water retention from being sick and 1 day of eating 1700 cal would not do that much damage and i was only up 4oz so i guess that's not bad for 2 weeks......and i will know more by this thursday's weigh in,if i am down alot then i know it was really water retention from being sick and the different atmosphere,but if there's not a big loss then i know i did worse then i thought.....that's why I don't like doing anything different then what my body is used to like going out of town especially when my body is on a roll cause i have learned how to read my body and listen to it so i get afraid cause i know it will take forever to get it back on a losing streak again....and i hope and pray it starts right away......I know our body needs a break but for me a week is to long a day here and there is ok but my body is so touchy it's so weird I think I am an exception to all the rules......LOL,LOL,WELL I think that's enough babbling about my weight issues but once I start I can't stop.....well everyone it's time to sign off for tonight it's almost 9 and the LAKERS will be on and i wanna watch pre game.....I can't help it I love football and basketball I am in heaven when these 2 sports are on.......
NITE ALL
SICK AS A FIGGEN DOG
Well I am here visiting my family and as usual I am sick as a dog,it happens everytime I go to INDIANAPOLIS,not sure if it's the change in weather,or something in this state.....so I went and got more medicine,and gonna try the airborne stuff i see on tv........my brother goes here try some v-c so I took one and it's supposed to help so I think I am gonna take this on a regular basis since i am going to GEORGIA in a few weeks I don't wanna be sick there like I was last year,but I was already sick it wasen't the weather there thank goodness.
So any who I am gonna go to bed early tonight and hopefully sleep a good bit and rest my body,we are having a cookout tomorrow on my last day here so i wanna be well rested,and not all stuffed up and coughing my head off,so that's all I have been up to,so I hope everyone has a great sat. night and sunday......muah xoxoxoxoxox
So any who I am gonna go to bed early tonight and hopefully sleep a good bit and rest my body,we are having a cookout tomorrow on my last day here so i wanna be well rested,and not all stuffed up and coughing my head off,so that's all I have been up to,so I hope everyone has a great sat. night and sunday......muah xoxoxoxoxox
WHAT I HAVE BEEN UP TO
Well it's been the same ol same ol....eating healthy and working out like a phene,it's basketball season,well the playoffs and my LAKERS are in wooohooooo,I am going to INDY this coming monday for a week I miss my family so much and there have been 3 new additions to our family my brother ERIC just had baby LUCAS ,my other brother JEFF had CHRISTIAN,and my sister NICOLE had baby CARTER so needless to say i will have my hands full and i can't forget my EMMA.
Also I am so excited cause in less than 1 month I will be going back down to GEORGIA to visit my BFF KAREN I cant believe it has been a yr.since i was down there it was such a blast,and I promised her we would not eat tofu all week hahahaahahahaha,she is sooooooooo funny.
I already have most of my clothes picked out for my trip,I like to plan ahead cause I always change my mind on clothes,so for the most part i am pretty much ready cause the weather there will be nicer than here so it will be shorts and tank tops and maybe a pair of jeans we will see...well I think that's it for me,my 2 trips for the summer so stoked and excited I can't stand it....
Also I am so excited cause in less than 1 month I will be going back down to GEORGIA to visit my BFF KAREN I cant believe it has been a yr.since i was down there it was such a blast,and I promised her we would not eat tofu all week hahahaahahahaha,she is sooooooooo funny.
I already have most of my clothes picked out for my trip,I like to plan ahead cause I always change my mind on clothes,so for the most part i am pretty much ready cause the weather there will be nicer than here so it will be shorts and tank tops and maybe a pair of jeans we will see...well I think that's it for me,my 2 trips for the summer so stoked and excited I can't stand it....
Finally At Last
Finally at last I think I finally found what works for me,after trying out things that other people have done because they had success at it,and i figured if it worked for them it would for me right?well most of the time no.I just think my body takes awhile to get used to certain things especially food,since i have given up alot of stuff that i used to eat (wheat,gluten,dairy,to name a few)that i thought was healthy,and for most they were ,but for me they seemed to slow me down more,it seemed to be that if it was processed my body couldn't metabolize it,so it sored it.
I do have some thoughts that i would like to have pizza,or some cake and ice cream,but I am afraid since my body is responding so well of how i am eating,I don't want to throw my body for a loop and eat some of that stuff,cause i know how long it will take me to get back on track,well not track just my body to adjust to not having processed things.Maybe after a hard workout this weekend i can treat to a couple pieces of pizza,that way the refined carbs will start the recovery process,so my body will burn it not store it.
So I am gonna still do the 2x a day workouts for another week or so,to still shock my body,then see if I still lose on a weekly basis and if I don't then i will go back to the 2x a day til i reach my goal,then i know what it takes to maintain,cause after all until recently I stayed the same weight all of 2007.
I can't believe how my body is responding,and I am so glad,I guess it is true you have to try new things until you find what works for you,it is upsetting cause 2007 I tried everything under the sun,because I wasen't losing,and i figured there's something I am missing,even though I am eating healthy and working out,somethings just not adding up,so that's when I decided I have to change the way I am eating,so i did and look at me now WOOOHOOO.
I hear people say when they lost weight they got their life back, and I understand that cause when your overweight you hate yourself,and can't do things everyone else does,and for me I never wanted to leave the house,and i wore p.j. pants out everywhere cause I didn't like the way I looked and felt in clothes,etc....I think for me losing weight has left me wanting to live my life....
HAVE A GOOD WEEK WORLD
I do have some thoughts that i would like to have pizza,or some cake and ice cream,but I am afraid since my body is responding so well of how i am eating,I don't want to throw my body for a loop and eat some of that stuff,cause i know how long it will take me to get back on track,well not track just my body to adjust to not having processed things.Maybe after a hard workout this weekend i can treat to a couple pieces of pizza,that way the refined carbs will start the recovery process,so my body will burn it not store it.
So I am gonna still do the 2x a day workouts for another week or so,to still shock my body,then see if I still lose on a weekly basis and if I don't then i will go back to the 2x a day til i reach my goal,then i know what it takes to maintain,cause after all until recently I stayed the same weight all of 2007.
I can't believe how my body is responding,and I am so glad,I guess it is true you have to try new things until you find what works for you,it is upsetting cause 2007 I tried everything under the sun,because I wasen't losing,and i figured there's something I am missing,even though I am eating healthy and working out,somethings just not adding up,so that's when I decided I have to change the way I am eating,so i did and look at me now WOOOHOOO.
I hear people say when they lost weight they got their life back, and I understand that cause when your overweight you hate yourself,and can't do things everyone else does,and for me I never wanted to leave the house,and i wore p.j. pants out everywhere cause I didn't like the way I looked and felt in clothes,etc....I think for me losing weight has left me wanting to live my life....
HAVE A GOOD WEEK WORLD
NO NEWS IS GOOD NEWS.....I GUESS
Well I haven't blogged in awhile,because there really isn't to much to say.....my life is so boring I do the same thing day in and day out,so let's think about what's new this week,I increased my cardio to 2x a day to maybe get another jump start from a few weeks ago when i lost 4lbs in a week,cause 2 weeks went by and no loss,but i did realize when i looked at the numbers my body fat % went down 3% in last weeks weigh in,so that's a plus.
Which means i lost body fat gained muscle,muscle weighs more than fat,and since i lost body fat the muscle took up that extra room which is why the scale hasen't moved in 2 weeks,but my clothes fit alittle different,my body moves so slow,and plateaus so easily that i have to constantly change things up and sometimes i run out of things to do,I remember my friend Karen would say i ate all day and didn't gain a pound or just gained one from all day and i wondered omg how is that possible,when i eat i gain 3lbs from food but by morning it all equals out....but now i realize how that's possible,it's weight training and reving up your metabolism,because i have noticed since i increased my weight training and adding running to my routine,it's like my metabolism is in high gear,when i check my weight through out the day,even w/ all the water i drink,my weight is only up a pound by the end of the day,and when i wake up the next day I have a loss.
Karen has helped me so much in my journey helped me get through alot of my plateaus,i owe her so much,I tell her all the time she was meant to come into my life for some reason,and i am so glad we have met and become such good friends,I just wish we lived alot closer.
I am so excited to get to go back down to visit her in May,and hopefully sometime she can come up here to visit me in my world.
Well i think I have babbled enough for tonight,if and when something else new comes up or happens i will blog about it,well there is.....i have a new man crush.....i will add a pic such eye candy i can stare all day in awwwww.....hope you enjoy the pic,hehehehehehe
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.Throwing in the towel
Well yesterday i was so ready to throw in the towel,i seriously had no more fight left in me....this weight is just taking over my life it's all i think about,i am one who gets excited to step on the scale and see if all my hard work pays off....and when i step on and nothing it just brings me so far down i dont wanna get up,but i think about how i feel after i exercise and there's no feeling like it,it just makes everything seem so light.....
After all there are worse things in this world,it is true when you have such a minor amount of weight to lose it is a different animal and has to be treated like one,the first 80lbs did come off like a piece of cake and it's depressing to have a whole yr pass and lose like 4lbs.....it is so heartbreaking.....and those 4 came last week,and this week's weigh in was so upsetting i did the same as i did to lose the 4 and noda,well today when i weighed in the scale moved again,like it did when i lost 4lbs......i weigh in daily to keep myself on track and thats how i know im on the right track with the 2lbs gone this morning,so if the scale constantly goes down some here and there everyday it all adds up to a nice loss for next thursday.
So GOD willing and his strength to get me through my tough workouts and cravings(which haven't been there,cause i have my sugar levels straight,and no self sabotage)i think i can be at my goal by summer.So i think i'm gonna keep my running and weights the same til i stay the same for 2 weeks or 3 then i will switch it up and adjust my calories.
jennifer
After all there are worse things in this world,it is true when you have such a minor amount of weight to lose it is a different animal and has to be treated like one,the first 80lbs did come off like a piece of cake and it's depressing to have a whole yr pass and lose like 4lbs.....it is so heartbreaking.....and those 4 came last week,and this week's weigh in was so upsetting i did the same as i did to lose the 4 and noda,well today when i weighed in the scale moved again,like it did when i lost 4lbs......i weigh in daily to keep myself on track and thats how i know im on the right track with the 2lbs gone this morning,so if the scale constantly goes down some here and there everyday it all adds up to a nice loss for next thursday.
So GOD willing and his strength to get me through my tough workouts and cravings(which haven't been there,cause i have my sugar levels straight,and no self sabotage)i think i can be at my goal by summer.So i think i'm gonna keep my running and weights the same til i stay the same for 2 weeks or 3 then i will switch it up and adjust my calories.
jennifer
