When the ones we love hurt

There is so much for me to vent about tonight,but I'm gonna just vent about when the one we love most in the world is hurting....my husband is battling conjestive heart failure and there is so much that goes along with that its just amazing,watching him everyday struggling to breathe doing the simple things in life that we all take for granted like putting on our shoes,laying down,and just simply breathing.
The therapy nurses are playing around with his meds cause they noticed he was pale and low blood pressure etc,cause i guess some of the meds shouldnt be taken at the same time cause they do lower your pressure and i was like wow the dr should have known that and said well take these at different times cause it can make you weak,well they said well o2 at night will def help him sleep better and wake up well rested well its been 5 nights and we are still waiting for that to happen,they also said moving the times of his meds should help too and we are waiting on that too.
I know with an ejection fraction of 15% there is shortness of breath but when it was that before he never was short of breath...i say that cause he had open heart to repair his leaky valve and at that time is fraction was 15% then it went up to 30% but had to put a defibulator in and things were going great til december when he started being short of breath mind you that in nov the nurse called and said his echo came back good,so i call the dr in dec and told her hes been short of breath etc and she said well let me look at his echo so she goes well his fraction id back down to 15 and i said uum the nurse called us and said all was good....so talk about a shocker..so after tests and his heart needing to be a certain number before the insurance would pay for the pacemaker to be put in,so thats what happened they added the pacemaker/def combo and he has been in nothing but misery,i dont mind taking care of him cause hes my husband and those were in my vowels sickness and in health but its so hard to see him like this because hes so independent and hates to have people wait on him hand and foot etc,but he is my husband and i will do anything in the world for him i just want im to get and feel better soon.
But the way it looks he will be added onto the transplant list if things dont improve,but i doubt if they improve where his heart % oes over 30 again cause they said his hart was so enlarged and stretched out that they doubt if it goes back to normal.....so who knows how long the list will be im sure its really long and not sure how all that process works but when we go to the dr im gonna ask,cause he needs to be on it for that reason of not knowing how long the wait is....and i dont want im to be suffering anymore and i think he really qualifies .....so whoever reads this blog i ask that you please say a prayer for tom cause we need all the help we can get.....

thanks again xo jenn