FOR MY SANITY

Well i have done alot of thinking today about my life,and come to the conclusion that i have to stop wondering about everything,analyzing it thinking did this happen because of this or because of that,what if i did this or said that would it have changed the outcome.
I have always thought that when someone did something it was because of me,thinking i said or done something to make them mad at me,i have always taken things to heart,i take things very personally,don't know why i do but i am working on it.........maybe because so many people have shit on me,i dont trust them and everytime someone says something i always second guess them in my mind thinking are they telling me the truth or am i just being gullable?
Needless to say i think deep down i don't trust anyone but myself........i think honesty is the best key,if its hurtful i would rather hear it then going around the bush or telling me what they think i wanna hear..............the smallest little things like that hurt my feelings,wish they didn't but they do.

Sometimes i wonder if it's all worth it......the feeling of hurt is the worse pain in the whole entire world,you can talk about the hurt and what bothers you,but it doesn't always mean you get the answers your looking for,rather it be them spareing your feelings or just plain lieing to you...so either way your screwed,cause you don't know if your getting the truth or not,or your mind having you overanalyzing everything,and having you just wondering.

I wish i can just blirt everything out but i can't cause it would hurt alot of people and that's not what i am about,just writing it helps alot of the frustration,so i will avoid the hurtful things and the truth would only be denied anyway by the way of excuses or putting the stuff on me so this way saves alot of anger and frustration.So needless to say this summer i am gonna work on me,not taking things so personal,no ASS kissing and no over analyzing....take things with a grain of salt.
I just feel somethimes like the way people feel about me is out of sight out of mind,well i think i am done and i dont wanna keep talking in circles,but i feel like a million pounds has been lifted off my shoulders...
EVERYTHING HAPPENS FOR A REASON